Couples In Step Hearts

What is Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples?

emotionally focused therapy: benefited this couple

Emotionally Focused Therapy  is meaningful change for the long haul, not just problem solving in the immediate moment.

From cradle to grave relationships form the core of human experience. Humans are happier and healthier in nurturing and emotionally responsive relationships. The longing to be loved is the driving force behind all our connections.

But sometimes wanting and intention isn’t enough, and couples struggle to live peacefully even while longing for connection. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is for couples who want to break away from the cycle of arguing, blaming, silence, and frustration. It is for couples who want to reconnect.

There could be a multitude of factors in a relationship that erode the emotional connection between partners: infidelity, sexual challenges, disagreements over parenting or careers, problems with extended family, addiction, etc. Underlying all of these issues are partners who are upset that their needs for validation, affection, and approval are being ignored or dismissed. The result is disconnection from the person we depend on most for our needs for approval and closeness. We feel alone and wonder if we should even stay together. Or we shut down and try to numb ourselves from the pain disconnection causes.

Intuitively we know that children have an inborn need and innate ability to bond, or attach to their caregivers. Fifty years of research on the parent-child bond has irrefutably demonstrated that children thrive when they are safely and securely attached to their parents or caregivers.

Thirty years ago attachment researchers turned their attention to adult love relationships. With each passing year research is conclusively establishing that adults too, thrive when they are deeply bonded to other adults. This research forms the bedrock of EFT.

EFT therapy is credited to Dr. Susan Johnson, Ph.D., a Canadian researcher, clinician and academician. Until 2010 Dr. Johnson’s work was only available in professional journals. Since then  Dr. Johnson has published two books written for the general public: Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love and Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships.

EFT therapy books: Hold Me Tight, Love Sense

How Effective is EFT Couples Therapy?