EMDR at Couples In Step

Current couple dynamics are sometimes affected by earlier life experiences. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) may be helpful.

In situations of infidelity an injured  partner will frequently have trauma symptoms: nightmares, anxiety, flashbacks distressing and all-consuming thoughts. EMDR can help with symptom reduction.

Exactly when and how EMDR is used as part of couple’s counselling is a decision between you, your partner and your therapist. Sometimes both partners are present. Sometimes only one partner attends.  This is generally not a beginning treatment intervention at Couples In Step. Someday I’ll write more about that in a blog post.

Couples In Step therapists Lori and Irene are certified EMDR therapists.

EMDR at Couples In Step

EMDR: How does it Work?

Recall a distressing event in your life. Can you still feel the anxiety, the fear and confusion in an intense way? Have past events impacted your self-esteem and your relationships? If your answer is “yes,” then your brain has stored that emotional input as unprocessed “frozen” fragments instead of as integrated and resolved memories.

Later, when the upsetting events are recalled, they carry with them a (sometimes) surprising sense of heightened distress. These upsetting events can be powerful enough to negatively influence the way you interpret the world and relate to others.

EMDR helps to resolve those “fragments” — store them away in an orderly, healthy fashion. You won’t forget the past, but you will develop a perspective where past events stop haunting the present. Self-esteem is enhanced, relationships improve, emotions stabilize.

A client with driving anxiety and another client with depression and guilt  gave permission to write about their experience when EMDR was used with them as part of their treatment.

…the affair happened a number of years ago and we’ve worked very hard to repair our marriage. But I felt so guilty, and he just couldn’t get the picture of me and his best friend out of his mind. I was kind of skeptical when (our counsellor) told us about EMDR and suggested we talk to you. After first talking to you I was still pretty skeptical. But (my husband) wanted to go ahead.

“…anyway the first few sessions I couldn’t tell the difference really. And then one day after one of your meetings he told me he thought the ‘spell’ had finally broken. He was right. He’s really different now. The flashbacks have stopped. We still have a lot of problems to work through but we’re not stuck anymore

From Manila, Philippines

A Typical EMDR Session