Inspired by a blog post that discussed a woman’s marital issues with a husband who had recently exhibited wild mood swings heretofore unseen in a twenty-five-year-old marriage, Helena Madsen wrote this article to try to come up with a possible explanation. Madsen uses Sue Johnson’s EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) notion of a an accidental brush with an emotional “raw spot” as a possible explanation to explain the husband’s unexpected and uncharacteristic behavior.
Madsen wrote this article for the Good Therapy blog under the Chronic Illness/Disability category. While she doesn’t do a particularly good job at linking raw spots to chronic illness and disability, she does do a great job at explaining raw spots and for that her article is a worthwhile read.
Raw Spots: What are they?
People in close relationships inevitably hurt each other unintentionally. That’s just the way of intimate relationships. Partners can’t be tuned into each other ever moment. As Dr. Johnson puts it: you can’t dance in such close proximity without accidentally stepping on the other person’s toes once in a while. These stubbed toes are typically forgotten or glossed over.
However, most of us have at least one subject that is hypersensitive to us. When partners (unintentionally) stumble into these hypersensitivities, or raw spots, often enough in hurtful and painful ways these subjects may become occasions for deeper and frequent misunderstandings between partners.
It might not be subject areas that are raw spots. Raw spots can also be tones, or attitudes, or looks. What to do about these raw spots is the subject of Madsen’s article.
Read the full article here: Living with Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde
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