From Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D. NOT “Just Friends”: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity. Free Press, 2003, p. 381. (This list of tips accompanies the article by Irene Oudyk-Suk MSW, RSW “Affair-Proofing Your Relationship.”)
- Maintain appropriate “walls and windows”. Keep the windows open at home. Put up privacy walls with others who could threaten your marriage.
- Recognize that work can be a danger zone. Don’t lunch alone or take coffee breaks with the same person all the time. When you travel with a co-worker, meet in public rooms, not in a room with a bed.
- Avoid emotional intimacy with attractive alternatives to your committed relationship. Resist the desire to rescue an unhappy soul who pours his or her heart out to you.
- Protect your marriage by discussing relationship issues at home. If you do need to talk to someone else about your marriage, be sure that person is a friend of the marriage. If the friend disparages marriage, respond with something positive about your own relationship.
- Keep old flames from reigniting. If a former lover is coming to the class reunion, invite your partner to come along. If you value your marriage, think twice about having lunch with an old flame.
- Don’t go over the line when you’re on-line with Internet friends. Discuss your online friendships with your partner and show him/her your e-mail if he/she is interested. Invite your partner to join in your correspondence so your Internet friend won’t get any wrong ideas. Don’t exchange sexual fantasies online.
- Make sure your social network is supportive of your marriage. Surround yourself with friends who are happily married and who don’t believe in fooling around.