Love can flow like a fast flowing river or it can be like a dry creek bed. Whatever it looks like, we all crave it. Finding a relationship that encompasses mutual joy and shared responsibility for maintaining love is important to most people. And, there is no more denying that growing together, past the initial rush of attraction and hormones to a place of vulnerability and growth has distinct and long-lasting benefits. Research shows that the heart and brain experience tremendous good effects when love enters in. Holding on to love long-term lowers blood pressure and is good for your physical health.

Dr. Constance Johannessen was moved at the wedding of a young couple to wonder, “What is love?” to most people. The media describes America as a country of people who are overworked and lonely, aching for connections. Could this description be applied to people moved by expressions of adoration, such as a passionate couple getting married? Or, more to the point, what does love mean to the rest of us, those of us past the flowing rush of love at our wedding?

So, then, What is Love to Most of us?

Johannessen suggests that love is connecting with another’s essence; accepting their vulnerabilities, being there when needed. In Emotionally Focussed Therapy the question, “What is love?” is sometimes answered this way: “Love is being emotionally accessible, responsive, engaged.” Sounds like Johannessen’s article “On the Homefront: What is love to most of us?” and Emotionally Focussed Therapy arrive at similar conclusions.

Read the full article here: On the Homefront: What is Love to Most of Us?